Nate Lanxon

Received: A letter from all London cyclists

I received this letter today after complaining to a man in the street about how most London cyclists think it’s okay to run red lights and piss off all commuters.

Dear Nate,

I heard your conversation the other day with a man in the street, just opposite Waterloo station, and I quote you: “Most cyclists in London are degenerate, law-breaking jackasses, with no respect for the law or their fellow man.” I appreciate that you highlighted how most cyclists are perfectly nice people when off their bikes, but like a nice man can become a wife-beater when on the booze, mounting a bike causes a shift in our brains that makes us retarded.

So let me highlight a few things. Firstly, most cyclists in London think it is perfectly acceptable to run red lights, and this is our right as cyclists. Laws are only there for cars and motorbikes; cyclists are bound by a different set of road laws. In fact, it’s common cyclist policy to accept that road laws do not apply to us. If we want to ride up a pavement between busy commuters, skip red lights and ride along the pavement in order to avoid 30 seconds of waiting, it’s fine.

Think back. Have you ever seen a cyclist be arrested for skipping a red light? No. Because we exist above this law. It is beneath us.

You mentioned that many cyclists find some sort of perverse pleasure in riding right up to the point a group of commuters are crossing while the little green man is illuminated, wobbling from side to side as we wait for a quick gap to shift through, and take advantage of the lack of traffic at the crossroads. Again, this is a bonus of being a cyclist. We are greener and more conservationally-focused than car users, and this is a certain privilige granted unto us by the blind eye of the law.

While I appreciate your acceptance that every cyclist you’ve met seem to be respectable, perfectly pleasant people, I find it unavoidable to point out your ignorance concerning the world of cyclists and our happiness to believe we exist above the long arm of the law.

We are not, as you so delicately put it, “a group of fundamental law breakers that deserve to be hit by trucks when running red lights,” but rather a group of enlightened, planet-focused individuals with the good grace to at least yell at you in the street for not realising, as we run red lights, that this is perfectly acceptable.

Please consider this next time you walk from CNET to the station, and perhaps in return I’ll read the book of the law that applies to all other road users.

Best, and my most humble regards,

Most London Cyclists