Nate Lanxon

Miss Maxi Mounds: World’s largest retard. Official.

A stripper has broken the record for the world’s largest fake breasts – thanks to a dangerous medical technique that is banned in Britain.

Maxi Mounds’s 36MM bust was accepted by Guinness World Records in a new World’s Largest Augmented Breasts category, after years of lobbying by the entertainer.

Each of her breasts weighs 20 pounds – and they are still growing, thanks to the controversial “polypropylene string” treatment that created them.

Unimpressed by the results of standard silicone implants, Ms Mounds had plastic string inserted into her breasts in 2000.

The implant irritates the breast, causing the release of body fluids that inflate the area still further.

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I’m sorry, but Big Brother is about to start again, so we’ve got enough unmitigated human rejects in the media for the time being. Far from just being a complete waste of blood and organs, Miss Mounds actually pushes the boundaries of being about as appealing to look at as a burning whale carcass, addressing the issue in the public eye that the only thing she’s good at is being something fake, artificial, and repulsive to men and women everywhere.

It’s not attractive, it’s not funny, and lets be honest, the only reason we’re even interested in her is because the world thrives on news about disasters, bad news and the unfortunate lives of other people. Just look at the news.

I think the guy who holds the record for “Most snails on face” deserves much more attention.